Familiar

All the emotions you promised me I would never experience with you have become familiar. All the emotions you promised I would experience with you are unfamiliar. Through it all, your not the person who I met. Your an unfamiliar face in the crowd.

Just a Thought

He has NEVER lied to me, but I still dont know if I can TRUST him.

ummm

I talked to my ex-boyfriend last night and I was left with a lot of questions. Our relationship is a little crazy because since the breakup we have still conducted ourselves as if we were still together. So last night I heard somethings that I have been wanting to hear but I cant really believe them no matter how much I want to.

• Is he for real this time?
• Does he really mean what he says?
• Will it work out this time?
• Does he really love me?
• If I have to wonder if he really loves me, is it love?
• Will I get hurt again?
• Overall, he makes me happy so why not?

Top 10

My mother told me that when she was growing up whenever she saw things she wanted or wanted to achieve she would post them around. This is method that I call "Seeing is Believing" . Through this method you see your goals and they become apart of your daily life. I'm know that it is very easy for me to forget about some of the things I want in life self-consciously. So I've decided to post my Top 10 Goals some being small and some being big.

Top 10 Goals
10-Achieve a new level of Faith
9-Become Partner before 30
8-Go to Law School
7-Graduate with Honors from ECSU
6-Be apart of something Bigger than myself
5-Be apart of something GREAT
4-Prosperity that's beneficial to others and myself
3-Get my Learners
2-Own a X5 BMW
1-Live up to my Expectations

Attention

I've noticed over the past few weeks amongst many females that a lot of us settle so we don't have to be alone. This isn't a planned idea, it just happens. Many times we know that a dude isn't right for us and doesn't share the same views as us but some attention is better than none at all. This attention can range from texting or having sex. But the problem begins when we forget that we are just using them for that purpose and become emotionally attached. As women it is not as easy for us as men not to get emotionally connected. The few of us that can't get emotionally connected are usually the ones that are holding on to some hurt of their past. So we start out with a plan but after awhile we feel that he's really a sweet guy and I want more than just a text. The PROBLEM begins. While we were wasting time with someone who will never give us more we missed out on the male that only wanted to give us more. The objective of this entry is for us as woman to examine ourselves and realize that we are worthy of way more than we can think. In order to receive your Prince there are times when you are going to be alone. Don't become so consumed with having some attention that you forget about your greatest attention; YOURSELF. It won't be easy but the award is plentiful.

Lauren 

Baby Baby Baby

Have to watch!!

I woke up this morning in an extremly good mood. I woke up ready to embark on a wonderful day with wonderful people. The simple thing about this is, I have no plans its just a regular day. But it wont be a regular because Im really anxious and excited to see what this day will behold. Im ready to hit the ground running!!

Must Buy

Marsha Ambrosius: Late Nights and Early Mornings

from Floetry

My Favorites

Lose Myself

With You

Your Hands

Times

Butterflies

Love Is Blind

Hey, yo I don't even know you and I hate you

See all I know is that my girlfriend used to date you

How would you feel if she held you down and raped you?

Tried and tried, but she never could escape you

She was in love and I'd ask her how? I mean why?

What kind of love from a nigga would black your eye?

What kind of love from a nigga every night make you cry?

What kind of love from a nigga make you wish he would die?

I mean shit he bought you things and gave you diamond rings

But them things wasn't worth none of the pain that he brings
And you stayed, what made you fall for him?

That nigga had the power to make you crawl for him

I thought you was a doctor be on call for him
Smacked you down cause he said you was too tall for him, huh?

That wasn't love, babygirl you was dreamin'
WHAT YOU THINK IS LOVE IS TRULY NOT YOU NEED TO ELEVATE AND FIND; LOVE IS BLIND.

Dedicated to the girl from DC that isn't ready to leave yet, because she has yet to understand her worth.

Open Blog

Haven't blogged in a while and many things have happen since my last blog.

The main thing that is bothering me at the moment is when people cant let go and move on. A few weeks ago I was in a pointless argument that was small to me until my life was in danger. I was shaken by the issue for at least a week. When I say shaken I went through the process of shock>anxiety>fear>paranoia>disbelief. After that week and much needed prayer and guidance from love ones I begin to let the issue go. If you couldnt tell from my past blogs I dont like hating people: MAIN reasoning being it takes up TOOO much of MYYYY energy. Next I believe when you hate someone they have control over you. I let go of the issue to because I thought that it wasnt that serious to stay mad and that I should just use it as a learning experience. But whats starting to bother me now and was still bothering me a few weeks ago is when the other individual continues to feel the need to bring up the issue in everyone of their conversations. Now Im not SHALLOW to believe I can control everything out a person mouth and she may not feel some type of way since everything happened.......But come on were ADULTS. But really grinds my gears (lol) is when Im not even mad and I was the victim and your talking about me to people you use to talk about to me. Come on can you be any less ORIGINAL. Im a happy person and Im not saying we will ever be friends but I dont have time nor do I want any of this DRAMA. I go to a very small school so whatever you say is going to get back to me and its not like we were never friends and didnt hang in the same circle. SO COME ON!!!! Let it go. Posting stuff on twitter and facebook is beyond childish. To be honest I think the fact that your still unable to hold conversations without bringing it up, wake up in the morning and it not be your first thought, you see me and not frown your face, and not speak to people that were once your friends is CRAZY and CHILDISH.
(OK....whew that one issue is scratched off the list)

TRUST is the next issue.

I have never had a trust issue until the last event and Im not even sure if this should even be called a trust issue. I just dont open up to many people. To be honest when people say they have a circle, Im a lot smaller shape. I have one individual my age that I know I can tell anything and not worry about who else is going to find out. Im starting to learn a lot more that people are not who they say they are and its up to me to scope out which people arent who they say they are. See this process is kind of hard because some people are so good at acting that it takes a really good eye to scope them out.

Thats all Im writing for now, so until another burst of emotion have a wonderful day....