Cole World

So I cant get enough of "Cant Get Enough". I'm anxiously waiting for Cole World: Sideline Story to hit the stores tomorrow. Go out and buy, talented and honest.

Baby its You!

I was going through my blogs from earlier this year and must I say they were DEPRESSING!!! I started writing my blog because I was going through a lot and didn't want to always talk to someone about it. It was mainly issues on relationships and friendships. But I think I have it altogether this semester.

So, I wanted to let the world know how happy I am. I started talking to my baby in February and honestly I wasn't feeling it because I wanted what I thought was right. But he stayed around and became someone I didn't want to  not be around. He made me happy without anything spetacular. Just himself which is GREAT to me. So it got real serious around the middle of March and its been great since then.

I might sound corny but "Love on Top" completely describes my feelings for him. I can be around him and never get bored. He makes me smile for no reason and I don't want to go a day without him. He doesn't like it but he's my Stinka Butt lol

Stop the Violence Amongst Young People

On Thursday night around 8 o'clock I lost a friend to senseless violence. Domonique Fraizer was stabbed to death by her roommate at Bowie State University because of how loud she was playing her iPod. I found out through twitter and couldn't believe it. All of sudden my timeline went from Scared Straight tweets to astonishment that our friend had died. She was tweeting just four hours ago and within that time so much happen.

I have seen on the news of many deaths throughout my lifetime but only two hit home because they went to my school. But this hit home in such a different way. Last February I was put in the same situation. I was in an argument with a friend and as a result she tried to stab me with a pair of scissors. When I found out how she had died I was filled with sorrow and gratefulness. Mainly because she lost her life to unnecessary violence but me being no different from her my life was spared.

I know many may not believe in Jesus but at the moment all I could think about was thanking him. I also asked him to keep her family safe and sane. With this happening it hit her mother hard like any death of a child. See when people die we morn for a while but the parents and family members forever morn because something that came from them is no longer there. Way after the calls, cards, facebook and twitter pages stop bursting with "I Miss You's" her mother will still be sicken to the idea of her child being gone.

So I ask that everyone who reads this does three things: Keep Dominique's family in your prayers, tell the people you love you love them, and be an advocate for stopping unnecessary violence amongst young people.

Happy 19th Birthday Dominique Frazier!!!

Single Ladies without Stacey Dash

So everyone knows that VH1's new show Single Ladies was an all time favorite. The show having two big actress' that viewers have been dying to see return to filming; Stacey Dash and LisaRaye. Single Ladies did great being a new show. Everyone fell in love with the cast, but unfortunately one will not be returning.

Stacey Dash released a statement today to Global Grind stating:"I truly enjoyed playing Val on 'Single Ladies', but I have decided to leave the show. I have to be back in L.A. with my children right now and the 'Single Ladies' shooting location makes that impossible. I wish VH1 the best of luck with the show and in maintaining the strong fan base we developed in season one."

I understand that she wants to be with her children, but as a viewer I cant help but to wonder who is going to replace her and is the show going to survive with someone new.  I will continue to watch the new season to see if the dynamics change.

 

Dr. Griffin

Dear Dr. Griffin,

I dedicated this blog to you because you provided me with a fountain of new inspiration. I take you twice a day, three days a week. I enter your class never knowing what I'm going to experience. But each day I enter, I enter with some form of anticipation. You are the reason I decided to stay an English major. Last semester I was so insecure in my abilities to be an English major yet alone a college student. Your class inspired me and your interest in my thoughts that were seen as radical in every other classroom. On my first paper you told me I had great ideas and was a good writer. Those few words changed me and provided me with the confidence to strive for excellence that semester. I was so in love with your teaching style and interest in students that I requested to take you the next semester. Your classes are more than just English courses, your classes provide me with courage to move on. You never allow me to do less than my best and are constantly questioning my views. This may not seem as a lot but to a student, that is use to achieving things easily with little explanation what you do is needed. Your talk on Monday touched me and helped me realize that I need to leave my comfort zone. I have a fear of reaching for higher achievement because I never know how good I may be. I'm not afraid that I'm too stupid but instead I'm afraid that I may be smart enough. When we started our talk, I was discouraged and had no idea what I really wanted to do. Your words of encouragement and a sense of believing that I possessed the talent to succeed, helped. Knowing that someone has faith in me and hopes that I do well is a great feeling. So I just want to thank you for constantly never accepting average from me and believing that I have a bright future. Overall, thank you for being more than a professor to a student. Thanks for seeing what I'm too afraid to try to see and letting me know that I can do better and achieve more if I just believe in myself.

Familiar

All the emotions you promised me I would never experience with you have become familiar. All the emotions you promised I would experience with you are unfamiliar. Through it all, your not the person who I met. Your an unfamiliar face in the crowd.

Just a Thought

He has NEVER lied to me, but I still dont know if I can TRUST him.

ummm

I talked to my ex-boyfriend last night and I was left with a lot of questions. Our relationship is a little crazy because since the breakup we have still conducted ourselves as if we were still together. So last night I heard somethings that I have been wanting to hear but I cant really believe them no matter how much I want to.

• Is he for real this time?
• Does he really mean what he says?
• Will it work out this time?
• Does he really love me?
• If I have to wonder if he really loves me, is it love?
• Will I get hurt again?
• Overall, he makes me happy so why not?

Top 10

My mother told me that when she was growing up whenever she saw things she wanted or wanted to achieve she would post them around. This is method that I call "Seeing is Believing" . Through this method you see your goals and they become apart of your daily life. I'm know that it is very easy for me to forget about some of the things I want in life self-consciously. So I've decided to post my Top 10 Goals some being small and some being big.

Top 10 Goals
10-Achieve a new level of Faith
9-Become Partner before 30
8-Go to Law School
7-Graduate with Honors from ECSU
6-Be apart of something Bigger than myself
5-Be apart of something GREAT
4-Prosperity that's beneficial to others and myself
3-Get my Learners
2-Own a X5 BMW
1-Live up to my Expectations

Attention

I've noticed over the past few weeks amongst many females that a lot of us settle so we don't have to be alone. This isn't a planned idea, it just happens. Many times we know that a dude isn't right for us and doesn't share the same views as us but some attention is better than none at all. This attention can range from texting or having sex. But the problem begins when we forget that we are just using them for that purpose and become emotionally attached. As women it is not as easy for us as men not to get emotionally connected. The few of us that can't get emotionally connected are usually the ones that are holding on to some hurt of their past. So we start out with a plan but after awhile we feel that he's really a sweet guy and I want more than just a text. The PROBLEM begins. While we were wasting time with someone who will never give us more we missed out on the male that only wanted to give us more. The objective of this entry is for us as woman to examine ourselves and realize that we are worthy of way more than we can think. In order to receive your Prince there are times when you are going to be alone. Don't become so consumed with having some attention that you forget about your greatest attention; YOURSELF. It won't be easy but the award is plentiful.

Lauren 

Baby Baby Baby

Have to watch!!

I woke up this morning in an extremly good mood. I woke up ready to embark on a wonderful day with wonderful people. The simple thing about this is, I have no plans its just a regular day. But it wont be a regular because Im really anxious and excited to see what this day will behold. Im ready to hit the ground running!!

Must Buy

Marsha Ambrosius: Late Nights and Early Mornings

from Floetry

My Favorites

Lose Myself

With You

Your Hands

Times

Butterflies

Love Is Blind

Hey, yo I don't even know you and I hate you

See all I know is that my girlfriend used to date you

How would you feel if she held you down and raped you?

Tried and tried, but she never could escape you

She was in love and I'd ask her how? I mean why?

What kind of love from a nigga would black your eye?

What kind of love from a nigga every night make you cry?

What kind of love from a nigga make you wish he would die?

I mean shit he bought you things and gave you diamond rings

But them things wasn't worth none of the pain that he brings
And you stayed, what made you fall for him?

That nigga had the power to make you crawl for him

I thought you was a doctor be on call for him
Smacked you down cause he said you was too tall for him, huh?

That wasn't love, babygirl you was dreamin'
WHAT YOU THINK IS LOVE IS TRULY NOT YOU NEED TO ELEVATE AND FIND; LOVE IS BLIND.

Dedicated to the girl from DC that isn't ready to leave yet, because she has yet to understand her worth.

Open Blog

Haven't blogged in a while and many things have happen since my last blog.

The main thing that is bothering me at the moment is when people cant let go and move on. A few weeks ago I was in a pointless argument that was small to me until my life was in danger. I was shaken by the issue for at least a week. When I say shaken I went through the process of shock>anxiety>fear>paranoia>disbelief. After that week and much needed prayer and guidance from love ones I begin to let the issue go. If you couldnt tell from my past blogs I dont like hating people: MAIN reasoning being it takes up TOOO much of MYYYY energy. Next I believe when you hate someone they have control over you. I let go of the issue to because I thought that it wasnt that serious to stay mad and that I should just use it as a learning experience. But whats starting to bother me now and was still bothering me a few weeks ago is when the other individual continues to feel the need to bring up the issue in everyone of their conversations. Now Im not SHALLOW to believe I can control everything out a person mouth and she may not feel some type of way since everything happened.......But come on were ADULTS. But really grinds my gears (lol) is when Im not even mad and I was the victim and your talking about me to people you use to talk about to me. Come on can you be any less ORIGINAL. Im a happy person and Im not saying we will ever be friends but I dont have time nor do I want any of this DRAMA. I go to a very small school so whatever you say is going to get back to me and its not like we were never friends and didnt hang in the same circle. SO COME ON!!!! Let it go. Posting stuff on twitter and facebook is beyond childish. To be honest I think the fact that your still unable to hold conversations without bringing it up, wake up in the morning and it not be your first thought, you see me and not frown your face, and not speak to people that were once your friends is CRAZY and CHILDISH.
(OK....whew that one issue is scratched off the list)

TRUST is the next issue.

I have never had a trust issue until the last event and Im not even sure if this should even be called a trust issue. I just dont open up to many people. To be honest when people say they have a circle, Im a lot smaller shape. I have one individual my age that I know I can tell anything and not worry about who else is going to find out. Im starting to learn a lot more that people are not who they say they are and its up to me to scope out which people arent who they say they are. See this process is kind of hard because some people are so good at acting that it takes a really good eye to scope them out.

Thats all Im writing for now, so until another burst of emotion have a wonderful day....

Alpha Phi Alpha: All Black Affair

Overcoming

It is so easy to let an issue effect you and cause you to live scared. You become so consume with the issue that it begins to change you. Its like its eating at you. Everyone around you notices the change and wants to help but cant. But when you have the overcoming moment. The moment when you realize that you will never forget what happen and will always use it as a learning lesson. But you will no longer let it control your life. That your ready to get back to you. You want to go back to who you love the most yourself. So this is my overcoming moment. I will never be imprisoned by my mind and all its what ifs. If it was meant to be it would have happened. So its no reason for me to trip off of it. I'm letting go and moving on. It wont be always easy but what is.

The Hypocrisy of Valentine's Day

I wanted to write this blog 13 days ago but couldn't find the correct words for my emotions. Let this be said now; I DONT have a male Valentine but I have always had my DADDY as my Valentine. This blog is going to be hitting on my true emotions about this holiday and how females let one day effect them for almost a month.

Like stated earlier I don't have a Valentine. Dwell on that; I'm not depressed, hateful of others with one, going out of my way to get one, nor do I feel as though I need one to feel more of a woman. I have noticed since February 1st that females are sad that they don't have a male to buy them things and take them out to eat on Valentine's Day. They have become obsessive with statuses and tweets concerning this issue. Throughout the month I have not seen a status that has stated "I want a man to love me the other 364 days out of the year not just on one day." I don't understand how a female can become so consume with the idea of being complete because you have have a male to take you out. In my opinion I don't need a man to buy me a bear, candy, or take me out to eat. Now I'm not a feminist or anything like that I just feel that females put too much of their happiness and power into a man. All the things that a woman wants on Valentine's Day she can provide for herself. (It's nice to recive them from men, but is that all you really want?)

Why not ask for a man to accept you for who you are and is willing to love you and your flaws? Why not want a man that can bring a smile to your face everyday without having a material possession? Why not want a man that understands you mentally, physically, and emotionally? Why not want a man that loves his mother and every other woman of importance in his life and decides to treat you with the same respect? Why not have a man that doesn't need a holiday to dictate if you deserve to be treated like a QUEEN?

Woman degrade their worth everyday by making men believe that the only way to make them happy is providing them with a bear, candy, and a meal at Red Lobster once out of the year. I'm not overly emotional about this holiday because I have someone that has shown me how a woman is supposed to be treated by a man; my Daddy. It is true that a father molds what a daughter expects in a man. I believe my views on men are based on what my father has instilled within me. I cant except anything less than my father in any man. I want a man like my father on Valentine's Day and every other day. That man is a God fearing man, a man that loves his mother and respects her, a man that knows that he is the man of the house and isn't afraid to lead or follow, a man that puts his family needs before himself, a man that would do and give anything to make sure the people around him aren't without, and last but not least a man that understands that LOVE is all that a woman needs because material possessions are only temporary happiness.

If you don't have a man on Valentine's Day don't sit in your room or home depressed posting statuses and tweets about why this holiday sucks. Instead go out with you girl friends and focus on if you would just want a man on Valentine's Day or one for everyday of the year.

Friends or Enemies

I haven't blogged my true emotions in a while. But over the last couple of the days some things have taken place that have forever changed my life. I'm not going to go in detail of every aspect but one event has taught me the importance of selecting friends and learning who is really for me.

I have never been a violent or hateful person. I see the best in everyone and ignorantly believe that no one wants to hurt me or be my enemy. This doesn't mean that I believe that everyone likes me or wants to be my friend. This just means that I wasn't raised to keep my guard up and believe that everyone is after me. Life has taught me the importance of having my guard up and there are only a selective few that are really down for me.

On Thursday, I learned that everyone wears a mask to disguise who they are and how they truly feel. By doing this, the people around you are forced to believe what really isn't. The saying that "People smile in your face" is so true. People can easily act like they like you and all the while they are hating and waiting for you to step at them the wrong way. These are the people you have to worry about. Because they are worst than angry people or your enemies, they are people the premeditate every argument, fight, and every act in life that includes you.

After, Thursday's event all I want to do is be by myself. To be honest I feel like I cant trust anyone around me. Because after a life threatening event like the one that took place on Thursday, it makes you re-evaluate your life. My mom told me something so simple today but hit home; Friends are people that you consider family or closer than family and everyone else are people you simply associate with. We have all heard this before and call people associates without little thought. But the crazy part is all of us have someone in our close circle that can be considered as an associate but call them a friend because of our other friendships. To be honest I can count on my hand who I feel are really for me. I know for a fact that people around me don't like me but never once did I feel that someone in my circle had so much hate built up towards me.

So this entry may be all over the place but the main point is to know who is for you and who your true friends are. Because it is so easy to mistake the disguised one's around you.

Let's GO Crazy

I love this song by Prince and Janelle Monae killed it.

New Music

Qoute of the Day

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.-Marianne Williamson

Black History Spot Light

Angela Davis, radical black activist and philosopher, was arrested as a suspected conspirator in the abortive attempt to free George Jackson from a courtroom in Marin County, California, August 7, 1970. The guns used were registered in her name. Angela Davis was eventually acquitted of all charges, but was briefly on the FBI's most-wanted list as she fled from arrest.

Angela Davis is often associated with the Black Panthers and with the black power politics of the late 1960s and early 1970s. She joined the Communist Party when Martin Luther King was assassinated in 1968. She was active with SNCC (Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee) before the Black Panthers. Angela Davis ran for U.S. Vice President on the Communist Party ticket in 1980.

Angela Davis has been an activist and writer promoting women's rights and racial justice while pursuing her career as a philosopher and teacher at the University of Santa Cruz and San Francisco University -- she achieved tenure at the University of California at Santa Cruz though former governer Ronald Reagan swore she would never teach again in the University of California system. She studied with political philosopher Herbert Marcuse. She has published on race, class, and gender.

Beautiful

I read this a few weeks ago when it was first posted. But today it home. So Im posting this for my sister/my heart. A lot of times females especially Black females mistake their curves as a curse but I feel this post does a great job of acknowledging that they are blessings. If your skinny or full figured remember that your BEAUTIFUL :) The blog was posted by Angela Simmons

Dear Princesses,
          
           I wanted to take this time to talk to you guys about loving your body.I want you to know that its ok to have curves. Its ok to not be thin. I for a long period of time struggled with my weight and I wasn't happy. But being skinny doesn't always have to be the answer.  I decided one day that being curvy was ok. And i learned to love myself. I personally thought I was fat as a child because I was curvier than the rest of my friends.  I even at one point when I was younger thought of going the wrong way and throwing up my food. That wasn't the right way to go.  As time passed I realized that I just had a more developed body than my friends. Girls, its ok to have curves. You don't need to be thin. And if your are naturally thin thats beautiful too. As time passed I realized that being healthy was the way to be. So I made some changes. I started eating healthier and exercising. Working out helped me to tone up and feel better about myself. Girls please take care of yourself. Love your body. Don't let anyone tell you that your too fat or too skinny! As long as you know your doing the right things to your body than no one can tell you NOTHING. Embrace who you are. Be who you are. Let your beauty shine from inside. Be kind to others. Hang around positive people. Stay away from negative people.
Love you guys

Hate That You Love Me

Love It :)

Knowledge or Money

I saw this video and it made me think am I in college for the knowledge or the money. Just like Omar Epps I'm in college because in America its the next step towards success. I like learning but if I could make the same amount as lawyers without a college education would I even be here? I'm not knocking any choice money or knowledge, I just know mines. I was once told that if you can do something and love it without getting paid that's what you need to do. But in today's time money is a number one priority in everything I and many others do. It may be wrong but I know the career I have chosen makes money but it isn't the main reason I want to be a lawyer. Ask yourself are you in it ("it" being whatever you desire) for the money or the knowledge.

Super Bowl National Anthem

Whitney Houston

Beyonce' Knowles

Black History at HBCU's

I attend one of the greatest HBCU's in my eyes; Elizabeth City State University. I love my university dearly and know my success will come from attending an university as such. But I have noticed over the past five days that BLACK HISTORY isn't mentioned in any of my classes. I am an English major and all of my classes right now are based on European literature. However, I take one American Literature course and were discussing Mark Twain. My professor is African American and the class is 90 percent African American. So why wouldn't we discuss some of the great or unmentioned American authors and poets. I know there are many out there beside Hughes, Neal-Hurston, Angelou, or Morrison.

The point I'm trying to make is, that since I was in elementary school Black History Month has gone unnoticed. We go through out the month never acknowledging our history. And when I say our I don't mean just African Americans. It annoys me when I hear my friends and others say we have the shortest month in the year, but we still do nothing with it. Each day has 24 hours and you have 1440 minutes to make an impact. I think everyone including myself should take the next 22 days to acknowledge African Americans that have made an impact in the world and lets research the ones that aren't mentioned. They're usually the radical ones. :)

Vogue Italia's All Black

All "BLACK" girl editoral by Emma Summerton.

People Evaluation

So I haven't blogged in a while because I didnt think I had much to talk about. But then I realized after one of last night events that I need to blog everyday to keep a cool head.

Yesterday, I was out with a couple of friends and a few people I just deal with because of others. I have always known that my patience for people and whining is extremely low. I feel like if something is bothering you long enough you will do something about it. But the issue yesterday was a beyond desperate girl always being depressed about a man that is no longer hers. For the past month me and my best friend have been listening to her SAME issues and last night was my LIMIT.

After last night I made a promise to myself to never continue to deal with people I don't like. It only brings more stress and I eventually hurting their feelings because I have a smart mouth. So in the future I will only surround myself with positive people.

Lets always remember that anyone can talk about something but only a selective few people can change something.

Average Day, Extraordinary People

It Hurts Like Hell

Oh baby
Oh oh babe
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh baby

Love was always supposed to be
Something wonderful to me
To watch it grow inside yourself
To feel your heart beside itself

Sometimes it hurts to love so bad
(When you know you've given all you can)
Sometimes it hurts to even laugh
(You do your best but it's still much too sad)
Sometimes the pain is just too much, oh oh
And it hurts like hell, that's the way it feels

True love, it has no hiding place
It's not something you just put away
It's always there inside of you
Oh, and it shows in everything you do

Sometimes it hurts to love so bad
(When you know you've given it your best)
Sometimes it hurts to even laugh
(You feel a thousand miles from happiness)
Sometimes the pain is just too much, oh oh oh
And it hurts like hell, that's the way it feels

Oh oh, oh oh
Here we are, the two of us
So full of love, so little trust
But dying for some tenderness
Ohh, but too afraid to take the step

Sometimes it hurts to love so bad
(When you know what it can put you through)
Sometimes it hurts to even laugh
(There's nothing funny if it's killing you)
Sometimes the pain is just too much
And it hurts like hell, that's the way it feels

I know if there is any chance
For us to find our happiness
We've got to learn to let it go
Ohh, forget all the pain we know

Sometimes it hurts to love so bad
(Sometimes it hurts so bad, baby)
Sometimes it hurts to even laugh
(Sometimes it hurts to even laugh, oh)
And it hurts like hell, that's the way
Oh baby, that's the way it feels
Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah

Chalk Art

Julian Beever is an English chalk artist that creates trompe l'oiel (French deceive the eye) chalk art. It includes real imagery with optical illusion.

Bead Art

Found some beautiful and unique jewelry made with beads. If you interested in buying you can get the info from: http://beadartoriginals.blogspot.com/

Giving Back

When I was younger I use to look to people with success. I didn't look to people that didn't have what I wanted. Now that I'm older I remember the people that helped me realize that my dreams weren't extreme. I know from experience that is easy to give up when you think that no one understands your ambitions or trys' to support you. But the little things count. I was on www.globalgrind.com and I found this video from the Oprah Network. Jay-Z and Oprah decided to provide an all male school for kids that aren't privileged, laptop computers. This may not seem a lot to some people but to the students it could have been their motivation to continue to strive for their goals. No matter how successful I become I realize that I'm nothing if I don't give back and inspire others. Click on the link below to see the video:

http://globalgrind.com/channel/music/content/1902100/jayz-opens-oprahs-mind-to-rap-music-photos-x-video/

Boredom Leads to Still Moments:Pictures

Zebra's and Giraffe's

I saw these on http://www.globalgrind.com/ underneath Fashion and I thought it was really cute.

I was THINKING....

And I came up with THIS, how many of us smile just to get through? How many of us put a smile on because it is expected of us? Have we been trained that its better to smile then to show your real emotions? Or, have we been taught that smiling will make everything okay.

Wellllllllll, here's the philosphy of Elle (thats me),
We smile because we dont want people to think that were not fine. Even when were dying inside and wanting someone to ask us so bad whats wrong. It has become a natural instinct to act as if everything is ok than face the reality of everything is falling apart.

I have noticed that I do it alot. I will fake a smile in a minute. But if someone really looked pass my physical and looked into my eyes to see my heart and my deepest fears what would they think. So here's my vow to myself and a bet to you, smile a little harder, cry a little longer, pray with much faith and never pretend when life isnt going right.

Know Your Worth

I'm happy to say that I'm over the boy that came before the one I mentioned in my last blog. I was so wrapped up in him it made no sense. I knew it was wrong but I wanted to work it out. It consisted of 9 months of hoping that I could change his wants. I didn't realize to yesterday how much I was over him.  Being over him doesn't mean that I hate him and were not cool but its a feeling you get inside. You look back and realize your mistakes and realizing the decision you made to leave him was right. Its a big process but the outcome is so SWEET. Never stay in a relationship that you know isn't healthy because the outcome will never be what you want. Don't stay if you feel disrespected or unappreciated. Know that there is someone out there that is willing to treat you and make you their QUEEN.

                       I didn't think about this until I wrote Queen. Remember Coming to America!!

Use to Be

I saw my ex earlier today and I tried to avoid him and still see if he wanted my attention. Crazy right. But I try my hardest not to think about him and I always fail. I know that we aren't meant to be and I really don't want him as a boyfriend anymore. But my problem is I don't know if we could ever be friends without me getting caught up. I keep my space because our break up is still fresh in my mind.

He is crazy, silly and always knows how to make me laugh. I know that if I ever needed him he would be there for me. But it hurts that when I needed him the most we couldn't work it out. I have been told that I need to separate myself but its hard as hell when someone left an impact on your life. See the story goes like this. When I was at my lowest point he was there. When I felt like I was the ugliest person and I had no reason to smile he brought it all back. He helped me rebuild and he was patient through it all. He was the type of MAN that I could go to and talk about anything and he would tell me the truth.

So I'm stuck in this place trying to figure out if I want him in my life or if I should just leave him alone. See when you care about someone its kind of easy to slip back into what doesn't exist. But one thing I do know is that he will always have a place in my heart. He will always be my Cornelius. Its easier to be friends than being mad at him. How can you be mad at someone that help you through so much? My answer: You cant.

Moment For Life

This has to be one of my favorite Nicki Minaj's songs.

I truly believe that if you want something you have to think about it and see it everyday. I believe this theory helps you remember what you want out of life. Im a materialistic GIRL. Sad but true and one of my true wants in life is to own a Hardsided Louis Vuitton Luggage Set.