I saw my ex earlier today and I tried to avoid him and still see if he wanted my attention. Crazy right. But I try my hardest not to think about him and I always fail. I know that we aren't meant to be and I really don't want him as a boyfriend anymore. But my problem is I don't know if we could ever be friends without me getting caught up. I keep my space because our break up is still fresh in my mind.
He is crazy, silly and always knows how to make me laugh. I know that if I ever needed him he would be there for me. But it hurts that when I needed him the most we couldn't work it out. I have been told that I need to separate myself but its hard as hell when someone left an impact on your life. See the story goes like this. When I was at my lowest point he was there. When I felt like I was the ugliest person and I had no reason to smile he brought it all back. He helped me rebuild and he was patient through it all. He was the type of MAN that I could go to and talk about anything and he would tell me the truth.
So I'm stuck in this place trying to figure out if I want him in my life or if I should just leave him alone. See when you care about someone its kind of easy to slip back into what doesn't exist. But one thing I do know is that he will always have a place in my heart. He will always be my Cornelius. Its easier to be friends than being mad at him. How can you be mad at someone that help you through so much? My answer: You cant.
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